


In The Privacy Of Bowls

by roachpatrol



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-24
Updated: 2011-03-24
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roachpatrol/pseuds/roachpatrol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>>Jade: google 'ovvipositor'.</p><p>>Did you mean: ovipositor?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Privacy Of Bowls

**Author's Note:**

> For the Homesmut Kinkmeme prompt:
> 
>  ****
> 
> CA: fuck jade  
>  CA: im startin to get really hot and bothered  
> GG: really?? <3  
> CA: i spread my legs and bashfully lift up my shirt givvin you perfect access to my brood pouch for you to put your ovvipositor in  
> CA: so you can get on wwith releasin your eggs  
> CA: slowly  
> GG: ....  
> GG: ummmm  
> 

CA: fuck jade   
CA: im startin to get really hot and bothered   
GG: really?? <3   
CA: i spread my legs and bashfully lift up my shirt givvin you perfect access to my brood pouch for you to put your ovvipositor in   
CA: so you can get on wwith releasin your eggs   
CA: slowly   
GG: ....   
GG: ummmm

>Jade: google 'ovvipositor'.

>Did you mean: ovipositor?

>Yes.

>Jade: ....Ew.

  
CA: jade are you still there?

  
GG: oh yes um definitely!!!

CA: okay because I don't wwant you thinkin im a kind of guy wwho does this kinda thing for just all anyone and suchlike you know

  
GG: yes okay.   
GG: okay.   
GG: ummmmmmmmmmmm...

CA: I really like you jade   
CA: i don't wwant to mess this up    
GG: ...   
GG: okay.   
GG: i think my ovvipositor is ready now   
CA: oh really oh my fuckin god okay   
CA: oh god   
CA: ...wwhere do you want me?   
GG: welllll um   
GG: put your   
GG: broodpouch   
CA: yes   
CA: i am putting it

GG: where i can get to it please?

CA: yes okay definitely that is wwhat I am fuckin doin right noww I am on my back so fuckin hard, and you are all up in my broodpouch right   
CA: that is a thing wwe are doing jade right   
GG: yes definitely!!! we are doing it!!   
CA: you feel so good   
GG: yes   
GG: you too!

GG: um so, I am totally... doing you! I am doing you so hard <3   
CA: oh wwoww uh   
CA: okay youre so forceful wwoww I wwasn't expecting that but uh   
CA: I like that in a wwoman   
GG: good because you don't have any choice! i have my ovvipositron in your broodpouch and you are gonna like it!!!!!   
CA: oh   
CA: yes   
CA: oh jade

>Jade: google 'broodpouch'

>Jade: google 'seahorse reproduction'

>Jade: take a moment to d'aww at baby seahorses.

==> They are so darn cute. Almost as cute as your squiddles lunchtop.

>Jade: be slightly weirded out by squiddles lunchtop now.

GG: do you have a tail?   
CA: wwhat no   
CA: wwho told you that   
GG: uh just kidding! okay, i take off all your clothes and lay you down in some soft seagrass   
GG: so you are comfortable   
GG: and theres seaflowers in the seagrass and you look very pretty surrounded by them   
GG: seaflowers are a thing right   
CA: oh yeah i lovve me some seaflowers i guess   
CA: uh that is nice of you   
CA: it is vvery nice grass and flowers   
CA: i am all rollin around up in it all   
CA: all like being oh this is such nice grass jade thank you vvery much i am so turned on by how thoughtful you are   
GG: good!!! now i...   
GG: i hold you close with my arms and nuzzle your gills with my face??   
CA: oh wwoww oh wwoww   
CA: okay yes wwoww that is so hot you are going to kill me jade   
CA: um okay so I nuzzle yours   
CA: if that is okay   
GG: yes go ahead!!!   
CA: really i mean of course yes that is wwhat wwe are doin   
CA: wwe are   
CA: nuzzlin up a storm in this here situation   
GG: that tickles!   
CA: it is probably just the flowers and shit   
CA: i am a vveritable wwizard of nuzzles   
CA: it is me   
GG: ha ha okay, mr wwizardgills so i am now nuzzling your gills and they are nice, you have nice gills!!! i mean big hot sexy gills and now I am sexily   
GG: uh I am STILL sexily all up in your broodpouch laying my eggs   
GG: it is me >:D   
CA: howw many eggs   
GG: what?   
CA: howw many eggs are you layin in me   
GG: uhhhh

>Jade: do not google this. You will only regret it.

GG: dozens to thousands   
GG: probably??   
CA: oh   
CA: my   
CA: cod   
CA: WWOWW

>Jade: you were warned.

CA: my broodpouch is so full of all your eggs   
CA: so many of them i cant   
CA: i cant even   
CA: jade oh god jade please   
CA: i   
CA: i lovve you   
GG: you too!!!!   
CA: i am goin to   
CA: OH   
CA: sdjdsvcxzxwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwq``

>caligulasAquarium is idle!

GG: eridan?   
GG: eridan are you okay?   
GG: oh nooooo ):

>caligulasAquarium is active!

CA: no im okay i was just   
CA: uh   
CA: you know   
CA: ovverwwhelmed a little   
CA: you are really somethin you knoww that jade   
GG: aww well   
GG: i try!!!   
CA: wwell you are!!   
CA: ...   
CA: uh   
CA: jade   
GG: what?   
CA: so i guess i am gonna just put this right out there okay   
CA: are my gills really big and sexy?   
CA: or is that just mmaybe a thing yyou wwwwere sayinn   
GG: oh!!!!!   
GG: oh no no, definitely they are sexy!!! you have the sexiest gills I have ever nuzzled over the internet   
GG: 10/10 would nuzzle again   
GG: <3   
GG: <<<3 even!!   
CA: i KNEW it   
CA: um   
CA: so humans dont really havve gills do they   
GG: nooo ):   
CA: wwell if you had any they would be reel sexy i bet so dont you go be feelin bad or anything about it okay   
CA: maybe they wwould evven be sexier than mine and thats really sayin somethin isnt it   
CA: because you're just that great jade   
CA: i wwant you to know that that is a thing that i feel about you for real   
GG: ha ha, yes!   
CA: <<<3 eridan and <3 jade   
GG: yes!!!   
CA: oh fuck i   
CA: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO WITH MY COMPUTER YOU FREAKISH ASSCLOWN   
CA: FUCK HOLD ON   
CA: I CANT BELIEVE THIS   
CA: YOU COMPLETE TOOL.   
CA: OH SHIT   
CA: OH SHIT YOU DID NOT IS THAT JADE   
CA: JEGUS T CHODELICKING WIZARD GOD YOU JUST HAD HORRIBLE FISH CYBERSEX WITH JADE YOU MISERABLE NOOKLICKING SCUMSUCKING AQUATIC ABOMINATION   
CA: ON MY COMPUTER   
CA: MY MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER   
CA: JADE   
CA: WHEN DID YOU GO INSANE   
CA: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS   
CA: WHY WOULD YOU EVER FUCKING DO THIS   
GG: ummmmmmmm

>gardenGnostic has blocked caligulasAquarium.


End file.
